When optimising sites I use a set of search engine techniques that I have dubbed RG (or Really Good) that allow me to keep at the forefront of the search engine optimisation industry. So I thought I would outline a few of the key techniques that I employ under RG.
The Ethical Meta Tag
My search engine strategies are always ethical, but rather than assume that the search engines understand this I employ the ethical meta tag. When I am optimising a site and I want to make absolutely clear that what I am doing is all above board I would use the following tag in the head section of our page.
<meta name="ethical" content="whitehat" />
Other values of the content attribute include blackhat and greyhat, to cover all eventualities.
Big Truck Title Tags
Rather than having tiny little title tags that don’t describe very much I like to take the approach of creating not just big, but really, really big title tags. This is accomplished by a simple process of copying and pasting the entire contents of a page into the title tag, thus resulting in a keyword rich and relevant title tag.
Roll Of The Dice Heading Tags
As you know, there are 6 heading tags (h1, h2, h3, h4, h5 and h6) so rather than do the usual thing of starting with a h1 and working down; I use a dice to decide which heading tag to use. Every time I come to write one in the code we just throw a dice and use whatever value appears. This keeps the content of each page fresh and interesting for search engine spiders.
Schrodinger’s Cat Search Results
Rather than actually tell anyone what their search results are I prefer to take a more pragmatic approach. If everyone involved assumes that a site will be either "ranked" or "not ranked" then by not checking we are creating a state of quantum flux. The site is both "ranked" and "not ranked" at one and the same time. If anyone actually checked the results the quantum waveform would collapse, so in order to prevent this I simply ban everyone from Google.
By using these RG techniques (and a few others) I can help you to optimise your site and help you achieve the rankings you want.
I am not sure if this is supposed to be a joke or not.
Seriously? You can’t tell?
Interesting read, I really enjoyed it. Thanks for adding this, it’ll be very useful in the future to me!
Schrodinger’s cat always makes my head hurt. Argh
I supposed that’s a joke right?
What do you think?
I thought this was hilarious, got me going at first but the more I read the funnier it became.
If only it worked like this seo would be more interesting.
But it’s all a big secret and only the search engines know how they rank anything.
Ken Snodin
Webmaster @ Bed Bugs Treatment